Strawberry Ice Cream (in 24 easy steps)

I got myself an ice cream mixer! Time to make some strawberry ice cream! Since I don't know how to make strawberry ice cream I'm taking the vanilla ice cream recipe that came with the mixer and adding chopped strawberries.

So! Here's what I learned, how to make strawberry ice cream, in 24 easy steps.

1. Start with a bowl of chopped strawberries.

2. Add in milk.

3. Add in heavy cream.

4. Optionally add in vanilla. I like vanilla.

5. Mix it all together. The recipe calls for an electric mixer but I don't have one so I tried a fork.

6. Pour it into the ice cream mixer.

7. Mix for about half an hour.

8. Realize after about half an hour that it's not thickening.

10. Pour out the mixture and realize it's no more ice cream than it was when you poured it in.

11. Re-read the instruction card and realize that the strawberries were supposed to go in only in the last 5 minutes of mixing or so.

12. Separate out most of the strawberries and try mixing again.

13. Get to the last 5 minutes and add the strawberries.

14. Pour out the finished ice cream and realize it still doesn't look like ice cream and in fact is still the the cream, milk, vanilla, and strawberries you poured in.

15. Read the instructions again and realize you skipped the "Getting Started" section where it says the freezer bowl needs to be frozen for about 24 hours before use.

16. Take a photo with a super-reflected flash that could be mistaken for a cool watercolor that might even work as a desktop background.

17. Auto color correct the photo to get an alternate version.

18. Stick the strawberry mixture in the fridge while you wait a day for the freezer bowl to freeze.

19. Remove the frozen freezer bowl and put it back together with the rest of the ice cream maker.

20. Add the strawberry mixture again, except without the strawberries because you don't want to mess THAT up again too.

21. Mix a bit and confirm you are actually making ice cream this time.

22. Add the strawberries in the last 5 minutes or so.

23. Ice cream!

24. And more reflected light forming a cool desktop background!

I have that last one as my desktop background right now. After all that work the ice cream turned out really really good. Too bad shortly afterward I realized I was gonna get really fat if I kept doing this and decided to swear off ice cream till I started working out frequently. Seriously. Nobody ever told me how many calories were in ice cream. I was having like two bowls a night with soda too. I figure that was like 1000 calories in 15 minutes. So now I'm ashamed to be seen with ice cream for a while.

Hampizza

I found one of these for sale while grocery shopping. Three actually this is the first one.

It looks like a pizza. Except it's ham. And now I'm going to make it a pizza. A pizza with a spinach topping.

And butter. To keep it moist.

Shredded cheese was on sale that day.

And of course pizza has to have spaghetti sauce.

And I've got that giant jar of jalapenos that isn't going anywhere, might as well add those.

Ditto on my multitude of cans of olives.

And now we bake the "pizza"...

While it's baking, I've got leftover margarita mix I want to use. Normally I consider use of a mix to be too crude for this show's standards, but together with another recipe I'll show it.

Plus I love crushing ice in a blender.

Add the mix and tequila...

Do a bit more grinding...

And we have a margarita!

Yeah, I use wine glasses for them. I don't have a proper margarita glass.

Now my hampizza should be done baking.

Looks pretty good. The ham skin makes it hard to slice though.

Two slices of hampizza ready to eat!

Oh, and don't forget the margarita.

This was a pretty good dish. Just a little too hammy. Then again I don't normally eat regular pizza crust either. If you like ham it'd be wonderful. If eating a ton of protein is good to fill yourself up and lose weight, it's a great idea to lose weight too.