Hellina's Kitchen II: Orange Bacon Chicken

WELCOME BACK TO HELLINA'S KITCHEN. I AM STILL HELLINA. I AM STILL A DEMON.

BECAUSE I AM A DEMON I WILL COOK WITH POSSIBLY EXPIRED CHICKEN WITHOUT FEAR OF SALMONELLA POISONING.

BECAUSE I AM A DEMON I WILL ALSO WRAP IT IN BACON. BACON from hell.

because I AM A DEMON I WILL ALSO POUR ORANGE JUICE ON TOP OF IT. WATCH THE ORANGE JUICE MIX WITH THE CHICKEN BLOOD! ghagahahahaaha

AND NOW I WILL fry IT. like

A DEMON would FRY CHICKEN

IN ORANGE JUICE

IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE FORGOT TO OPEN A SPICE. IT IS BASIL. IT SHOULD HAVE GONE ONTO THAT GIANT MIX OF SPICES A WHILE BACK. BUT IT DID NOT. LOOK. THE THE LENS IS STILL ON.

I WILL REMEDY THAT.

BUY PUTTING IT ON MY CHICKEN. WRAPPED IN BACON. AND BEING FRIED in orange juice.

IF IT WERE NOT ALREADY DEAD THAT CHICKEN WOULD BE BEING BOILED ALIVE IN ORANGE JUICE. WHILE WRAPPED IN BACON.

it has escaped the wrath of HELLINA.

HERE IS THE CHICKEN.

IT IS PINK ON THE INSIDE.

IF YOU ATE IT YOU WOULD PROBABLY DIE FROM SALMONELLA.

SO IT IS CUT UP FOR MORE FRYING UNTIL IT IS NO LONGER PINK

now it is DONE AND SHALL GO ON A BURGER

DEMONS LIKE MAYO

DEMON RATING: THREE HORRORS OUT OF FIVE

Welcome to Hellina's Kitchen

I AM HELLINA. WELCOME TO MY KITCHEN. I AM A DEMON. I COOK THINGS TOO GROSS FOR EVEN YOUR NORMAL HOST.

LIKE LEFTOVER SIDES FOR BREAKFAST, FOR INSTANCE. LIKE THESE.

THEY SMELL TERRIBLE BUT BECAUSE I AM A DEMON I LIKE THAT.

SO I AM GOING TO FRY THEM ALL IN OIL. WITH AN EGG.

AND HOW ABOUT SOME SPICY BBQ SAUCE???

FOR BREAKFAST. AHAHAHAHA

GAHAHAHAHA. IT SMELLS HORRIFIC AND IT PROBABLY TASTES LIKE THAT TOO.

BUT WHAT DO I KNOW. I AM A DEMON.

DEMON RATING: five horrors out of ten.

Chocolate Chicken

I have enough chicken and rabbit I wanna try another recipe. This time, immersing in chocolate.

Just take the chicken...

Pour chocolate on it...

And shove it in the freezer.

You get a tasty treat. Although I think it might be just as tasty if you froze the chocolate without the chicken.

Puffed Poultry

I wonder what happens if you try to cook a chicken in the microwave.

Let's find out.

EYAAAAGH WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT? DID IT JUST SUCK IN ITS CHEST? IS IT STILL ALIVE?

It's rather flat. It must have been a trick of the light.

It's dead so let's continue with the microwaving.

ACK! IT'S GETTING BIGGER! IT'S STILL ALIVE!!!!! AND IT LOOKS ANGRY!!!!

...I am saved. Whatever power it was using must have backfired. All that is left of the undead chicken is a smoking husk.

It's awfully hard to wash off the plate though.